random pictures

okay.... i think this is a bit embarrassing, i had so much time today, i actually read a few of my old posts on diaryland (2004!) and also my old crappy blog.What i wrote was absolute nonsense.

i cant believe what i did during poly days(which wasntt too long ago), think i had too much time to fool around with. i was blushing and knocking my head the whole time i read it, but i kept on reading anyways.and sooo kental!! Haha, super fun!

those were the days ehhh...hehe

anyway, something not-so-nice happened. i just could'nt keep it out of my mind.the whole night i couldnt sleep just thinking of what may happen... lets not go that far okay. i think this really opened my eyes BIG BIG . Everyone thinks that its all easy going for me... but guess what... its NOT! It's things like these that urges u to go on and not hesitate given the opportunity.

somwhere along the line, i kind of lost track on what i should be focusing on. Or maybe there were too many influences. I was gambling between settling on a normal technical job (without much opportunities) or progress to a presumably better architectural profession + a whole lot of debt on me. There's so many paths i could choose from.

And then, there were my family, i want them to be very proud of me.. would never disappoint them. These two months of ramadhan and syawal , was a much memorable one for me. It was like seeing miracles happen in front of my eyes. All i wanted was for everyone to at least accept one another again. i think it did happen. and the most heart warming thing was hearing all those sincere well wishes for me when i asked for forgiveness from them. All of them wanted me to succeed... oh my ... all the high hopes.. insya-allah i'll be able to make it. I felt the guilt there, knowing that i wasnt too close or maybe i just didnt took the time to meet the elders as often. Theres just this very touchy feeling when u know u are cared for and will be MISSED... also saw a soft side of everyone. Well, maybe all that extra effort to try mend things was working after all...

And also, there were my friends. They are the only ones who knows whats really happening in my life. Just thankful that i have those bunch of people with me. Nice to know that they still care.

Well, i have something thats really complicated right now and i might just let everything loose some time or another if it doesnt hint like it holds any future. as for the other side of me, i wish that somehow everything would go fine and work out in the end...

Putting the emotional things aside, i finally am ready !! :-)

that was the first time i jalan raya on the last day of syawal... just glad to see him, her and them :)
this dessert shop is getting a bit addictive right? seriously.... im not an almond jelly fan.. but i could gobble this up just fine... and wait till u try the steamed milk and egg white....heaven la babe!