haiyah makcik, aku sakit lagik

im feeling so sick on a weekend. too bad lah. I ALWAYS fall sick on weekends, boss aku jampi agaknyer. hahahha. think its a sign that i should slow down.

Firstly, Happy birthday to my dad!!!, .. hope u like the treat. eksen malu konon.. huahuahua.. I'll always pray for ur health (and wealth).. hehe .
well,my priority is to take care of my parents and just give them whatever they want or whatever that makes them happy right now. because i dont want it to be too late. I just had a long look at my parents when he was cutting the cake, i thought to myself that theres a big difference from what i remembered 10 years back when we first moved in this area.. they were much younger i guess. I felt so blessed to have my parents and siblings together, celebrating it. im just scared that one day, i wouldnt get to enjoy this moment anymore. the same house, the same people. im surprised that my hot temperedness had put itself to an all time low. i just smiled in my heart and kept quiet everytime they told me off.

For so long, i have been thinking... and planning .. and thinking.. and planning again. But im so relieved that they willingly supported me on my decision. i could'nt have imagined if they werent around. But now, im seriously having a bad feeling of being selfish. and im afraid i just cant repay them on time.

Work wise, everythings working well .And im learning as much as i can. The people around me are just so helpful. Im coping well.
Did i say learning as much as i can?.. hmm... i think i might be a bit too ambitious, but at the rate im going right now, it wasnt what i thought i would be back when i joined. Dont get me wrong here. nothings wrong with the job. I was being TOO ambitious. hahahaha.
Well, u must understand that im still not even near my aims. i dont want to be stuck at the TECHNICAL position forever. Like what im seeing now, i dont want to grow old, in the same old seat, all covered with dusty drawings, doing the same thing i did 20 years back.. TECHNICAL. i dont want to be overlooked by all the ones on top, when i knew that most of the job was done by me. It seems like the grass is greener on the other side. maybe?
Better grab the opportunity that i have right now, then be sorry for the rest of my life. To me, it is never a case of "what if i did that? what if i did another?" . Just take and go, and never look back. I dont want to waste my youth just wandering around like that. its just so scary.

And the progress for the revamping of my room . Its 50%!! still have to paint a new colour to it though. Before raya it should all be done. U should see when my sis and me were sewing our curtain.. mampus!! dia kata kiter dah macam makcik factory langsir shift malam!. ahhaha..
I really felt a big rush of urgency in these few months to make myself ready for later... nak kene pandai masak lah.. kene pandai kemas rumah lah.. kene pandai jaga diri lah.... kene pandai bawak dirik dan orang lain .. kene pandai jaga harta?? oooppss. financial planning i mean.. . Dah nak kahwin ke???heheheee.... oooo lebih dari tu..
But surely, even as im planning all these for myself, im always thinking of him. Its going to be very very hard for me. At the back of my mind, it seems so silly but all i could think of is not losing him in the end. But i guess i dont have control of that. Sometimes, i ask myself, what are we in the first place. and i just couldnt answer that. But im very sure i love him.
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Ok, thats a summary of everythings that is happening. Nowadays i get tired easily, so, no late night net surfing for me.. dah tua lah. hahaha. bubbyeeee!!